self-study sessions: #2
The voice memo app on my phone is full of song ideas and song drafts!
Helloooo, everyone!
A lot has happened since my last self-study update! First, I want to thank everyone who’s been supporting me over the past year. Thank you for listening to “The Absence of Light" and for coming to my single release concert, thank you for going to my junior recital spring 2019, thank you for seeing me in Ragtime at Playmakers, thank you for eating tots and drinking beer with me at Linda’s for the ENGL 408 songwriting showcase, thank you for cheering me and Tar Heel Voices on at ICCAs quarterfinals and semifinals, thank you for watching so many virtual singing videos, and thank you for rooting for me as I finished my music degree this summer. There are so many things to thank all of my friends and family for, and I hope this has managed to express an ounce of my gratitude.
In fall 2018, when I decided to work on an EP, called self-study, I was going through a lot. I’d withdrawn from school with a cruise job that ultimately fell through, and was feeling completely lost. I was in a musical at Playmakers which helped fill the time in a meaningful way, but I didn’t know if I was going to return to school in the spring, or move away, or what. I was not in a place to create like I wanted to. I kicked myself a lot for not being able to finish a song, or produce the world’s next big hit. I was so hard on myself, there was no way for me to make music just to create. The self-study that I wanted to reveal in an EP needed to continue on a deeply personal level within myself. Little did I know, the self-study was happening very much then, in the times of confusion and struggle, despite my not being able to put it to music.
2019 brought a lot of growth and amazing highs and few lows. In a year as tumultuous as 2020, I need a little bit more time to reflect as much on that year as I want, so maybe that will come later in another post.
So let’s fast forward to today. I’ve just graduated in the middle of a global pandemic. I’m stuck at home, as many of us are. I’m living with my parents with no plans to move for at least another year (at this rate). I’m unemployed. I’m in therapy! Listing all of these things about my life in that way sounds bad, and sometimes it is bad, but recently I’ve been feeling very good. Therapy has been amazing, and I recommend it to everyone (yes, everyone) and I’m privileged enough to have musical parents who are incredibly supportive, so I can use this time on my hands and devote it entirely to music. I’m really lucky in that way. I’ve even been lucky to have some virtual performance opportunities as well.
But back to the music making! I’ve learned a lot about songwriting thanks to the songwriting class I took in fall 2019, under the wonderful expertise from Florence Dore. (Check out her song on Cover Charge here!) Now that I’m not busy with school, I’ve returned to songwriting, using what I’ve learned in class, as well as the skills I’ve acquired through re-starting therapy in May. It’s been life-changing working on my inner-critic (which is quite LOUD), and it’s an ongoing process trying to quiet that criticism so I can just do. This past week I’ve done a lot of just doing, as it relates to my music making. It’s resulted in two songs, “Perspective” and “Alone.” “Perspective” is the fun pop song I’ve been wanting to write for a long time. It nicely sets up crowd involvement as an empowering anthem, with a bridge that chants, “It’s not me, it’s you.” I’ve shown it to some friends, and they’ve complimented me on unexpected chord changes and a varying melody.
“Alone” is completely different. My friend Kayla gave me her old ukulele a few years ago and I’d never taken the time to learn the instrument as much as I wanted. After working on the second half of “Perspective” one night, I decided to pick up the uke and play around with a Beatles tune that was in my head. Then I played these two chords back and forth, back and forth, added two other chords back and forth, and in those simple chords, I found a folk song that ended up being very clever and honest. The two voice memo recordings in the picture above are when I recorded a rendition of “Alone” for my 600th Twitter follower (feel free to give it a follow here!), and a rendition of “Perspective” after I revised the bridge that night. Both songs are so different, but I love them so much. I’m really proud to say that I love them! And I want to listen to them. Which makes me SO excited to record them and share them with the world!
Songwriting and self-reflection and therapy are essential to self-study. I’m excited to share more of this process with you! Please stay tuned to my website for more updates about my music.
Much love!
Faith